My cancer journey began with a feeling that something was wrong and I requested an early mammogram. I soon got a phone call from a physician I barely knew. She simply said: “Kay, you have breast cancer”.
I told a couple of people, including my kids (all out of high school by then) my brother, and a few close friends, and then I started down the slippery slope of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I had just received a big promotion at work, so I was literally running as fast as I could… feeling sick, and tired, and very scared that my whole life was going to come crashing down around me. Somehow, I kept putting one foot in front of the other most days. It’s all a blur with some notable kindnesses that I remember. People cooked and called and stopped by. I felt so “hollow” and weak, sometimes like I wasn’t going to wake up the next morning; but I did. I was warned not to miss any work, especially board meetings. I missed 2 or 3 days total. I should have missed months. I was completely exhausted.
I’m a nurse, but not an oncology nurse. My experience had been in critical care and later, wellness and education. At the end of treatment, I told my dear friend Steph that I needed “rehab”. I knew what I needed, but I didn’t have the energy to go to dozens of different places and appointments. Steph and I started reading up on “cancer rehab” to see if there was such a thing. It became a mission. We found a lot of great research on single and double intervention programs that really seemed to help people recover from a cancer diagnosis and treatment but no “one stop shop” for these interventions. A few years later, A Time to Heal was born.
I struggled right away with lymphedema and have survived several bouts of sepsis. Again and again, I have been given reminders of how precious life is!
To say that I would have done it all differently is an understatement, but I am who I am because of my journey. I like that person.
I have learned SO MUCH! I learned to be compassionate with myself; not just with the people around me. I learned what (who) really mattered and it certainly wasn’t that job or board meetings! I learned that while some people can only be there for you in spirit; some people show up with everything they have and pick you up when you fall. I want to be like them.
Sometimes I forget some of the lessons, like taking time to appreciate the wonder of now. And then I hear someone in our A Time to Heal group talk about their journey, and I remember. Life is precious, we have this moment, and love is what really matters!